Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results 1st Edition

I am surprised by some of the reviews describing Ms. Glaser's book as "average" (or similar terms). My work involves both providing executive and leadership coaching as well as delivering programs designed to develop leader coaches and building emotional intelligence. The cornerstone of relationships whether personal or professional is trust. Building trust is not necessarily something leaders (and others) understand or know how to create even if it seems to be "common sense." We all benefit from having tools, tips, and strategies that can facilitate the creation of strong, trusting relationships.One of my measures of the usefulness of a book is how many notes I write in the back cover sections of my books and notes for "Conversational Intelligence" overflow! I love practical tips and Ms. Glaser provides so many. One of my favorite tools she offers are acronyms, e.g., STAR, TRUST, LEARN. Maybe because I used acronyms throughout my education to remember key elements but now when I think about building trust I think TRUST: transparency, relationship, understanding, shared success, and testing assumptions & telling the truth. (Many more of these in the book with rich descriptions of each.) Helping leaders and others remember that success is often based on trust and using TRUST as a self-assessment to evaluate the components of trust can be invaluable.I also love that Ms. Glaser provides a number of exercises (toolkit) for creating exceptional listening skills and addressing "issues" that may come up in a relationships. Very practical! When you read the book check out the LEARN exercise for conducting more successful meetings (p. 143 in the printed version).I moved from traditional clinical psychology practice to the corporate world in 2003 and this is one of those books that I wish I had available when I provided couples and relationship therapy.Whether the reader is interested in being a better formal or informal leader, a better significant other, a better parent, or just a better listener/communicator in general "Conversational Intelligence" will be a great resource.Ed Nottingham, PhD, PCCConsulting & Clinical PsychologistAuthor, "It's Not as Bad as It Seems: A Thinking Straight Approach to Happiness" It's Not As Bad As It Seems

1) Increases personal power: Sure, trust and empathy are essential for creating meaningful conversations, but how do you know if I am creating trust and being empathetic? Glaser offers a three-tiered model so we can observe ourselves in conversation. Each tier has a purpose: Level I conversations result in sharing information; Level II conversations establish positional power and influence; Level III conversations are transformational and can generate breakthrough thinking and actions. With this model, I can create more purposeful conversations.2) Offers an antidote to fear and mistrust: Glaser introduces brain science principles to alert us to the destructive power of fear. When we find ourselves in unsafe conversations, our amygdala, or survival brain gets triggered. When this occurs, our executive brain -- where we review options and make informed choices -- shuts down. An antidote to this paralysis is awareness of knowing that I am creating fear-inspiring conversations or getting pulled into them. When I observe my fear, I can separate from it and start restoring the problem-solving capabilities of my “executive brain.”3) Shows how conversations reinforce our cultural values which in turn shape our future: Glaser reminds me that the quality of our conversations shapes and defines our cultural values. For example, consider the values revealed in the conversations of our founding fathers. These led to the Declarations of Independence and Articles of Constitution, documents that have shaped our nation’s history for over 200 years. Now apply Glaser’s models to categorize the conversations coming out of Washington and the highest levels of business. Too many trigger fear and shut down our highest level brain functioning. Few qualify as transformational. As well, Glaser reports that the best conversations are those that create a shared future – not a “me future.” Conversations based on “we” not “me” will lead to more constructive decisions, economical results and transformational possibilities.