The Rules of Survival Paperback – March 13, 2008

I know I'm dating myself, but this book is reminiscent of that classic book and movie, MOMMY DEAREST, in which we endure "the mother from hell." In THE RULES OF SURVIVAL, Werlin situates us in Southie (South Boston to you) with a pretty mom named Nikki who abuses her three kids: narrator Matt (age 13 when the book begins), sister Callie (11), and step-sister Emmy (5). Nikki lives above her sister, Aunt Bobbie, who makes like an ostrich and keeps her head in the sand for the bulk of the book. Speaking of ineffective, there's Matt's dad Ben, who divorced Nikki to become a male nurse and now acts as helpless as the kids themselves.The catalyst of the book comes in the form of a man we meet in the first sentence of the first chapter: "For me, the story begins with Murdoch McIlvane." It's a bit contrived, but Callie and Matt witness Murdoch facing down an abusive father at a local Cumberland Farms (milk store to you). Matt practically stalks the guy because he's convinced Murdoch is "the answer" to this novel's big question: Mommy Dearest.Speaking of, she's almost as hard to take as a reader as she is as a mother. By the end of the book, I was seeking deliverance myself. (I went to a Cumberland Farms, but nothing much happened beyond a clerk ringing up some Slim Jims.) Nevertheless, credit where it's due, the mercurial and unpredictable nature of Nikki's schizo-like personality (Dr. Mommy and Mrs. Hyde, anyone?) was an education, and this is no doubt Werlin's intent.Written in the form of a long letter to Emmy from Matt, the book only touches on the legal ramifications of trying to wrest children from a mother (clearly favored by our legal systems, even in situations like this... well, until it gets REALLY out of control, anyway). It's more a play-by-play and an exercise in frustration and repetition. One structural objection I had with the book was Werlin's giving away of the ending about halfway through. Perhaps she thought this wasn't the point (feeling the story was in the journey, not the destination), but it wouldn't have hurt to have played the suspense card by keeping readers in the dark until the bitter end. Also, there's a little "surprise inside" thrown in at the end. For me, it wasn't a Cracker Jack move, but for others, who knows? Obviously I cannot reveal it here. See if you find it realistic when you get there.Despite the verbal and physical abuse, this novel is fairly clean and thus safe for older middle school kids. A morality play of sorts, it should be especially attractive to kids who wonder if something's not right with mom or dad's harsh treatment of them. And no, I don't mean garden variety discipline (which equates to love). I mean crossing the line of decency against someone you're supposed to love...

The narrative is set in the form of a letter Matthew is writing to his younger sister Emmy about the events that led up to their emancipation from their abusive mom, Nikki.Apparently, whatever's wrong with Nikki (my guess would be a personality disorder) has been there from the start, and growing up, she tormented her younger sister and behaved much the same way with people as she does with her children now (lying, making threats, physical violence, and psychological manipulation). Unlike some people with mental problems, Nikki apparently never has any kind of period where she is stable. Moreover, her moods can and do turn on a dime, going from happiness to psychotic rage in a second.When Matt and his two sisters see a stranger defend a child against his abusive dad in a store, they hope to somehow befriend him (the stranger, Murdoch). Their mom finds out and beats them to it, but after she breaks up with Murdoch (and her crazy behavior escalates to the point where he gets a restraining order), he stays in touch with the kids and tries to help them find a safer home.The characters were well-drawn, but compared to the mom, who appeared to be in a nonstop manic state, a bit colorless. Also, this book, unlike many about teens, lacked flowery metaphor, sophisticated philosophizing about life, and sassy dialogue that sounded like it was taken from primetime TV. This made the tone more authentic (so many teenage narrators sound like they've attended a liberal arts college, then grad school, plus a writer's workshop), but at times, I wanted a bit more description of the characters and how they felt. Also, much of the drama happened without the narrator present, so his descriptions were secondhand. Still, it is a powerful book about abuse.I had to wonder, though, at the lack of other sympathetic companions in these kids' lives. Not necessarily ones who could help, but just friends, neighbors, teachers, coaches, etc. - though they didn't appear to have any hobbies. Even abused kids come into contact with adults who care, although they may not be able to rescue them from their situation.Did Callie's teacher, for example, never wonder why her highly intelligent student stopped washing her hair for weeks on end? Aren't teachers trained to see the warning signs of abuse nowadays?

I read this book for a school self-select. This book was an incredibly interesting way to get to know more about child abuse. A lot of the time, we think about abuse as physically harming the children. However, emotional abuse can leave scars that are just as hard to erase.Nikki is an unstable human whose unpredictable behavior leads to physical and emotional pain for her three kids. This book details the journey of the kids as they use all the help they can get to get away from Nikki and live somewhere else. Murdoch, a man they met at a grocery store who plays a huge part in their life, their dad, and Nikki's much more level-headed sister all take the necessary steps to gain freedom from their mother.The book is a realistic way of looking at a foreign topic, which is much more common than you may think. It shows the many layers of abuse, and the manipulation used by Nikki to get what she wants. It teaches you that things are not always how they seem on the outside.The book ends in a surprising way, revealing something about one of the characters that we never would have thought. This is a great read and I would highly recommend it to anyone looking for their next book!