Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up

Background to help you evaluate my review: I had a panic attack at age 26, began counseling and still participate. I am age 69 and fortunately have had 4 excellent counselors across the decades help me. The result: my quality of life has improved significantly due to their skilled, ethical, dedicated care.For years I have responsibly used psychotropic medication experiencing its benefits, limitations, and negative side effects. Current thinking is talk therapy used with meds, when indicated, can produce the most favorable patient outcomes. I concur. In fact, from 2010-13, at night I earned a MS in mental health counseling even though I am a financial advisor. With that thumbnail sketch, below is brief independent feedback I have received on two of the author’s topics. But first, my overall appraisal:I find Abigail’s book to be vital in highlighting issues that need to be considered and not merely assumed to be true/wise: therapy, medication, schooling, and parenting - and how they are intertwined. I am delighted that she is so well-known and talented as a journalist to focus attention on the most fundamental question: whether what we are doing is working or failing. It can benefit our nation if we have a discussion and accurate appraisal of where we are to fix what doesn’t work. Abigail bravely has gotten this debate started though I would be unsurprised if vested interests attack her, and continue sos. Unlike the false claims of her critics, she understands that there are circumstances when therapy and meds are appropriate.My view is that though well-intended, we have lost our way as a society in the areas she has underscored. I give our culture A++++ for our good intentions; however, outcomes must be evaluated candidly. Are we taking steps believing those actions are helpful when they are not? My view, we repeatedly utilize "Ready, fire, aim” to our detriment. Well-meaning adults have abdicated control thinking they are helping when they are harming. Here’s an example:In my career I meet people from an array of occupations who share personal info. The uniformity of opinion I receive from educators about what is occurring from primary to the university levels is bleak. The educators feel miserable and can’t wait to flee. Why? The bottom line is there’s no discipline permitted. They feel defeated that they can’t teach and will receive zero institutional support because everyone is afraid for their jobs and public/internet ridicule. To paraphrase teachers, the system has collapsed but since there’s a sign on the door “school," learning is presumed to be occurring when it is not. Note how many teachers choose to send their children to private school as an alternative. Look too at the explosive growth of homeschooling as a measure of concern for physical safety and efficacy. One educator told me the kids know the teachers can’t do anything disciplinary to them and behave accordingly.US academic performance has declined. US results versus nearly 30 other nations is appalling, though we spent so much more per child than competitor nations - and we are in competition whether we ignore that or not. The new bait and switch is to use SEL and pronounce schools as successful by downshifting academic measures replaced with SEL-focused yardsticks. The silver lining in the deadly COVID cloud is some parents got a glimpse of what their kids are being immersed in, were shocked and "voted with their feet" taking their children to be educated elsewhere.Look at the nightmare on college campuses over the past decade: skyrocketing anxiety, depression and suicides. Those results reflect Abigail’s concerns. The Anxious Generation, by J. Haidt, which I have begun, buttresses Shrier’s thesis.Overwhelmingly, employers tell me their younger workers behave completely differently, some don’t care about their performance, and except for excellent tech skills, they are surprisingly incapable, needy, demanding, and stunted. Please note: I am fortunate to know young people who do not fit the negative descriptions at school or work reported to me and are the polar opposite.Our sacred oxen have strayed from path and are at risk - and so is our society.At times I found her sarcasm humorous and at other times too snarky, but beyond that quibble, she has done a valuable service for our nation if we pause, consider, and act: what do we need to do differently to be more effective?——————April 29th AddendumFinished reading Jonathan Haidt’s thoughtful, research-based, and prescriptive The Anxious Generation. It is excellent also. I rate it as Five Stars and have bought a second copy to gift. It serves as a helpful companion to Schrier’s work. I highly recommend it.I read his outstanding work, co-authored with Greg Lukianoff, The Coddling of The American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation For Failure, which is also a straightforward, easy read.Years ago I read, then reread his masterful and superb The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided By Politics And Religion. I found this work to be more challenging, and a fascinating hypothesis.Lastly, some of the one and two star reviews of Abigail’s book contained insightful, valid criticisms for which I am grateful. Still, I see the value in her work, despite its weaknesses, as having galvanized a needed review of current assumption and practices. Michael

Every parent raising children should read this book. Such common sense and empowering to parents would go along way to curing the ills of this generation. I will suggest reading it to my son who is now raising school age children. I’ve been pretty disturbed by his and his wife’s use of tablets and smart phones to occupy these kids especially during meals when we always talked around the dinner table. Excellent book and well written.

Holy cow, this book was wildly eye opening and something I would HIGHLY recommend any therapist reads. I have been a licensed clinical social worker for 10 years and this changed my opinion about so many things in my field. I also became an insta-parent more than a year ago and am dealing with an almost teen who has "so many diagnosis's" that his mother seemed to be fishing for and that do not really fit. Unfortunately, I have had to try to fix some of the lack of parenting that has been occurring by her for so long. This book really opened up my eyes on things that even I need to change to help him become more independent and resilient. This book really surprised me and changed my opinion about a lot of things in the therapy world. Seriously, if you work in the mental health field, this is a MUST READ.

Update: Finished. It is indeed well-researched and though accessible, there's plenty there for data nerds who wish to understand the methodological flaws underlying a lot of mental health treatment approaches and community health initiatives. She shines a light on the biases at play in the restrospective studies about the so-called causal relationship between childhood trauma and adult mental (and physical) health. I had no idea this all came from the same guy (Bessel van der Kolk) who we all agreed was bananas when his theories caused the Satanic Panic and "recovered memory" fiasco of the 1990s.We've seen our local school district fully embrace SEL and Restorative Justice with disastrous results. My kids report "no one gets in trouble -- ever" for fights, cursing the teacher, leaving or disrupting class, etc. We have found SEL programs to be intrusive -- my sons have been encouraged to reveal private information without my permission. A social studies teacher at their school does privilege walks, but what if you don't WANT everyone to know if you have chronic health problems, divorced parents, live in poverty, have a parent in jail, are an immigrant, have been a victim of abuse, etc.? You either reveal sensitive personal information you can never take back (of course it doesn't "stay in the circle") or you get pegged as "privileged" and your opinion and success come with a big asterisk.Who knew that building entire identities around "trauma" and "clinical diagnoses" would lead to children and young adults feeling overwhelmed and incapable instead of resilient and empowered?-------------------------------------------I have purchased the book on Kindle am reading through and it's off to an excellent start. Considering it was published less than 24 hours ago and there are already 1 star reviews who admit they haven't read it (and how could they have, in less than a day?) it's clear that there is brigading happening by trans-activists who are still mad at Abigail for being an early voice in what is now an increasingly mainstream questioning or criticism of hormones and surgeries for children who experience gender dysphoria. Anyone who has touched that 3rd rail will never again publish without these rather telling 1 star reviews within hours of their release.I will update once I finish, but in answer to the 1 star reviews which both indicate it's an under-researched opinion piece, I'm flummoxed about how they can say so -- it's already clear to me that she documents a wide variety of primary and secondary sources to support the ideas discussed, from peer-reviewed studies to personal interviews with evolutionary psychologists.She also is quite explicit that mental illness is real, trauma & PTSD is real, and that psychiatric drugs can absolutely be necessary and beneficial. What she examines in this book is iatragenic harm, from providing treatment to someone who doesn't need it. She examines whether "preventative" mental health (standard screening forms, SEL in schools) encourages all kids to examine and ruminate over negative thoughts and experiences, an act which is itself detrimental to mental health outcomes. Interesting stuff.

A very thought-provoking read, backed up by significant data and research. As always the Americans are 5-10 years ahead of us in the UK, so we should treat this as a warning Bell to the risks of the future if we don’t open up our eyes and get involved with how our schools are changing.A worthwhile read for any parent in the UK.

The author busts so many modern myths on parenting, therapy and interference by schools, that my head is still boiling with indignation.This book needs to be read by all modern parents. It’s a mirror to how we’re failing as a society and what needs to be done to raise decent, confident and independent children.

I've read all books from this author and I cannot agree more with her. Her ability to analyze society and the current trends among kids and teens (and adults too, for that matter) is spotless. Her style is direct, clear. It seemed I was reading my own thoughts in some parts. Thanks Ms Shrier. Cannot wait to read your next publication.

Abigail Shrier raises a valid question that most people don’t actually even think to ask - do all children that are assigned therapy actually need one? We tend to rely on widely accepted opinions and expert reviews, and it is quite eye-opening from the author to challenge this status-quo. Parents, she says, know the best (or should know) their kids, and leaving their mental well-being to someone else could play out not as great. I am half-through the book now, and it meets every expectation I had after listening to a podcast featuring Abigail and ordering the book on spot.

A clear and concise answer to why mental illness rates have sky-rocketed and young adults seem less prepared to enter the real world. While it does miss out on some important nuances, there are other great books that can help fill these gaps. I recommend The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt.