Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults Are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful

This is a very useful and powerful book. I’ve read other books on the effects of divorce on kids. This is the first to focus on the effects of parental infidelity on their children. There’s an important distinction. In my parents’ case, my dad’s repeated infidelities led to divorce, but in the face of infidelity my wife and I stayed together because I didn’t want my kids to go through what I did and I refused to break up the family. I read this book from the perspective of a child of parental infidelity but also as a husband who has experienced it, and—importantly—from the perspective of my five sons who have experienced it in spite of my efforts to not repeat my dad’s mistakes through my actions. My only criticism is that the author didn’t really cover the case where infidelity is confessed to and not repeated and the marriage does not end in divorce. It only covered the case where the marriage continues alongside the infidelity continuing.

Save your money, and don't buy this HORRIBLE book!!My 19 year old son has been angry at his dad for cheating. He's furious, and doesn't want to see his dad, but at the same time, he misses him. I thought this book might be helpful.There is SOME good information in this book.......but. I am deeply offended by the author's insistence that children of infidelity should "consider the REASON" for the infidelity. That, once the children are adults, they try to view their parents' marriages iwith "adult" eyes, and that, in the process of trying to forgive, they try to learn the "reason" for the infidelity.In one example, a woman had a mother who cheated on her dad, just after her dad was diagnosed with a terminal illness. She proceeded to have several affairs, and the (then adolescent) daughter was made to lie to her dad about what her mom was doing. The mom eventually took the kids and left altogether, leaving the dad to die alone. As an adult, the daughter was able to "realize" that her mom was just trying to "normalize" her life, and couldn't take the stress of her husbands illness. This "realization" helped the daughter to forgive her mother.In another example, a daughter, once an adult, was able to see that her father did not support her mother's desire to a career. So, her mom cheated, and eventually left her husband for a man that DID support her career ambitions.In fact, in the chapter on forgiving your adulterous parent, one of the items the author lists that the child must do is to try and understand the reason for adultery.Let me be clear. There may be reasons for divorce, BUT THERE IS NEVER A GOOD "REASON" FOR ADULTERY!!! There just isn't. There is no acceptable justification for cheating!!! If you're not happy in your marriage, work it out or get out, but infidelity is inexcusable!!! And telling children, of any age, that there might be a good reason for the cheating, also tells them that cheating may be acceptable!!!!This book may be a balm for the parents who cheat...."See? There was a reason I had to cheat, so it's ok"!!!If you are the betrayed parent, looking for ways to help your kids cope with their parents infidelity, this book is not for you! It's not for anyone, really. Save your money.

This was a helpful book during one of the darkest times in my life. It was a tough read because it caused me to pause and think often. The hardest chapter was about forgiveness. It's tough to forgive a parent who only shows remorse for getting caught. This book addressed this scenario (and every other one imaginable), I just don't think it's possible for everyone. I still recommend this book because it will help you.

This book was very helpful in giving the prospective of kids who found out that their parent cheated. Parents can get caught up in their own pain and think that telling the kids is a good idea. This book explains in detail and gives examples of why it is such a bad idea to tell the kids. The perspectives of why it is especially important not to let the kids know that their MOTHER had an affair were eye opening.

I found this book put words to experiences I have had being an adult child of parents who cheated. It helped me see how my parents relationship has played out in my intimate relationships and also how my family interacts with one another because of the trauma that the infidelity had on our family even after my father, who had the affairs, has died. It also has helped me to realize that amount of shame I still carry about the affairs even to this day that I am working past now.

This book is life changing. I've only read a chapter so far but already I feel like I understand myself so much more. I would definitely recommend this to others who struggle with the same issues and questions about parents who cheat and the role it plays in children's lives.

Very helpful for a parent to understand what a child is going through in this circumstance.

Helpful

Excellent book. I personally feel there is far too little literature on parental infidelity and the effects it has on children. This book went above and beyond in detailing the wide ranging effects, causes and solutions.

I really enjoyed this book, it was really informative and made me look at myself in a different light. It also was so good for providing advice with how to deal with issues you may be having in regards to parental infidelity, or how to explain it to young children who may have been effected. I definitely struggle with my issues of parental infidelity affecting my personal relationship, and hearing the stories and advice in this book have really helped me begin to let some of it go.

Très bon livre, le sujet est bien expliqué! Si vous avez vécu la tromperie d'un parent, cet ouvrage vous aidera à trouver des solutions pour vous aider dans vos relations amoureuse. Il y a de nombreux témoignages, ce qui peut devenir redondant à la longue. Par contre, ceci est le seul livre que j'ai trouvé sur l'infidélité des parents et les répercussions sur les enfants, et il est seulement en anglais. Bref, c'est un bon achat!