Playing to Win: Raising Children in a Competitive Culture Paperback – August 3, 2013

This book read like someone's thesis paper turned into a book [which I'm guessing is the case]. Unfortunately, what could have been an interesting premise is hindered by two big issues. First, the limited scope - only one metropolitan area "Metro" was surveyed. The study would be much more meaningful if other areas beyond NYC or Boston were used for input. Second, the lack of any real suggestions for parents in navigating these situations. As someone with children in travel soccer and competitive gymnastics, none of what was in here was in any real way informative. Even trying to leave that context aside, I found much of the book to be very repetitive and superficial - in the manner in which quotes from parents or other writers were simply presented with little in the way of analysis. What I was looking for in purchasing the book, was some help in instilling the right balance of competitiveness and fun in these activities for my kids. Unfortunately, that was not to be found.Really, this would have made a nice brief article in a parenting magazine. Maybe I bought this expecting too much out of it, but I do not think it was worthy of being a full book.

Friedman's research about the role of competition in shaping kids' lives later fascinated and terrified me. I like to keep my kids' schedules light, but I sometimes worry they're missing out on some of these skills that other parents are making sure their kids get. Friendman does a great job though, immersing herself in three of these activities (soccer, dance, and chess) to get a look at some of the sacrifices made too. She does all this (looks at the benefits and the negative aspects of spending so much time on these activities) without judgment. It's an impressive book with a lot to share with parents.

I am a parent trying to find an appropriate balance between encouraging my kids to work hard while still letting them "be kids." I really recommend Playing to Win for parents in this situation. The book offers a fascinating bird's eye view on the state of competitive children's activities in the U.S., but the real beauty of the analysis is its in-depth look at how specific families navigate this landscape.The book is also must-read for teachers, coaches and others who are simply interested in Americans' obsession with childhood achievement. It is exceptionally well- researched, yet engaging and easy to read.

This is a great resource for parents. While based on solid academic work, it's an easy, quick, and embraceable read that gets into the how and why American parents do what they do today.

I highly recommend this book to all parents and teachers! It's a fascinating read with thought provoking topics and questions throughout the book. It's a perfect blend of theory, research and practical implications. Especially today as extracurriculars and activities beyond the classroom have become the norm for college admissions, this is a must-read. The book is extremely well written and a great read as well!

I was delighted to see that Friedman tells both sides of the story -- the good and not-so-good about organized sports. Well written and very educational. Every parent who puts their child in organized sports should read this.

I agree with another reviewer who liked the premise but not the execution of this book. I think this book will appeal mostly to people who are not currently parenting kids involved in competitive activities, as it gives some insight into that world. I am a parent with kids currently involved in competitive soccer and dance. I feel like this book summarized some of my points of view - but not entirely so. And, like the other reviewer, I don't feel like I learned anything new or came away from the book with any takeaways.

Whether you are appalled by the disappearance of the "traditional" American carefree childhood or pleased that today's children are learning to compete in order to build a more fulfilling future as adults, you need to know what is actually going on, even if you are one generation removed just watching your grandchildren grow up in today's world. This is the book to tell you, and in a very entertaining way.

I bought the book as I am a UK father whose son is doing chess and football and daughter ballroom dance, and I hoped to learn more about the subject. I can confidently say that if you are a parent of a child involved in these activities, a book written by you would be most likely more informative and interesting.The book is a side result of a science project rather than a genuine book of a keenly interested author. Thus, the language is too try to my taste, and a lot of statistical details kills the pace (almost every chapter has stats on how many minutes on average lasted interviews and what average age and ethnical/educational background in %% the interviewed had). The author describes in detail how many children are in a typical dance/soccer club, how many games a season they have etc etc. You will learn that parents are too busy carrying kids around to these games, that their motivation is to make their children more successful in life, and that different parents view success differently. You will also find out that children activities are not cheap. If you are parent, and your child is involved in these sports (or, probably, any other sport) at a certain competitive level, you know all these things without a book. For me, I didn't find anything new here.There are some good moments in the book though. For me, the discussion of why Ivy League universities want to have sport champions as students was an "a-ha!" discovery. Also, the author discussed girls' choice between, say, soccer and dance which seems to be a new route in the psychology of children sport (no irony here).To finish, I cannot resist to include one brief quote which summarizes for me the dryness of the text and how far the book is from the real life parenting: "The development of friendship on teams and across competitive boundaries is a strategy that children have developed not only to cope with losing but also to cope with the reality of competing at a young age." (p.199) As a parent, I will have now a great joke for other parents of my children friends. Our children don't make friends because they are children - it is their their developed strategy!The books is likely to be interesting and useful for other scientists, and for people who don't see children too often.