The Many Faces of Abuse: Treating the Emotional Abuse of High-Functioning Women Hardcover – May 1, 1998

The author is clearly knowledgeable and has an interesting perspective ... the categories of relationships presented seemed/felt a bit too rigid but that is not a criticism of the4 book but just a difference in perspective.Well-written and informative.

I read this book for many reasons, as a therapist and as a woman in our society who has seen abuse in many forms and experienced mistreatment at the hands of another. I was stunned that no one else has reviewed this book, then I realized maybe many people haven't heard of this book or don't want to share any personal experiences. Lachkar writes a very balanced approach to relationships. She doesn't advocate a victim-abuser stance. She talks about patterns of engagement in which partners become involved, as a way of acting out previous hurts and difficulties. She starts the book by defining a spectrum of abusive behaviors, from the less obvious to more obvious. That alone can be helpful to get an understanding of what is respectful treatment and what is abusive. She writes for intelligent readers and accepts that even smart people can get involved in these negative patterns. I also like that she describes diverse types of people who are abusive, including those with narcissistic personalities or who are a bit obsessive. The final chapters on how women engaged in these patterns can retract themselves is really quite helpful. I have given this book to many women and recommended it to others. Highly helpful if you believe you may be experiencing mistreatment or work with women who are.