The Modern Mom's Guide to Dads: Ten Secrets Your Husband Won't Tell You

This book is basically a man's perspective on becoming a parent. It is written as ten "secrets" about the experience for a man to become a father. I thought it was an enlightening read, because men don't tend to open up about what they are thinking and feeling. This point is made in the book as well, because women have so many resources and support to go to, but men don't have the same opportunities, and when they do, it is typically among women, not other men. I appreciated the perspective and also the advice. He gave pointers such as "Focus on what not how" (for example, dad got the kids dressed and ready to go out the door... don't worry if the shirt doesn't match the shorts or whatever). I would definitely recommend this to any mom to be or mom of young kids.

Balanced by his co-author, Jesse Jayne Rutherford, who offers the female perspective in each of the ten chapters, The Modern Mom's Guide to Dads handles many topics such as how society shapes a man's self-understanding and what kinds of pressure they're really under. They work more once baby arrives on the scene not because they're trying to get away from us (although those Monday morning door-rushes have me a bit skeptical -- I don't know. My husband really loves his job), but because they're trying to provide for us. It's an eye-opening book in many ways. New dads struggle with guilt, negative self-talk and confusion as much as women do. We're just more vocal about it and it seems socially appropriate for women to talk about their struggles. How many talk shows have female moderators? Very few, other than perhaps Dr. Phil, really get at the heart of people. Most men have not learned how to express themselves around these issues. For the first time, there's hope. Hogan Hilling, founder of Proud Dads, Inc., has provided an outlet for them to reveal what they're truly thinking in a safe, nonjudgemental environment.Hogan has been offering parenting workshops and new dad seminars in area hospitals since 1992. His approach is straight-forward and extremely helpful for anyone, mom or dad, struggling with their roles as a new parent. He admits many people might not find his role as a stay-at-home dad (for fifteen years!) to be 'manly' in the traditional sense. Thank goodness! How else could there be progress without a man stepping out of the corporate box to stand up for what he believes in? It turns out many more dads, regardless of race, creed, religious or socio-economic status, believe the same thing. You don't have to be a Superdad or Supermom to do the right thing. In case you hadn't heard, there's no such thing.A truly wonderful book full of surprises that will make you be kinder to your husband and see things his way ...for once!Christine Louise Hohlbaum, author of  Diary of a Mother: Parenting Stories and Other Stuff  and  Sahm I Am: Tales of a Stay-at-Home Mom in Europe , lives near Munich with her husband and two children.

The Modern Mom's Guide to Dad: Ten Secrets Your Husbands Won't Tell You As a psychotherapist who works with couples, I know what "baby shock" is, and the difficulties even good marriages have when the first baby arrives. Hogan's book is the perfect solution. It's a readable, down-to earth guide for both moms and dads that covers, frankly and directly, all the major issues parents have.I loved the Hogan's Slogans, like "Love isn't solid -- It's more like clay than a rock" and the way he uses them to teach couples how to keep their intimate connection going while dealing with all the issues of parenting.The book has frank discussions of sexual issues, in-law issues, parental roles, and most of all, the differences in the way men and women view and approach parenting.I'm going to recommend it to my son and his pregnant wife, and to all my clients in the same situation. Bravo, Hogan! A great read.

Hogan Hilling has given mothers insightful and accurate information of the mindset of your modern American father. We love our kids and want what is best for them, but in many cases we just don't know how to reflect it in an emotional manner that women would prefer to see. This book reveals our inner thoughts and feelings on issues dealing from housework to the birth of our children. This is a father's equivalent of a football team's "playbook" and a must read for mothers, as well as fathers looking for something to help explain the complexities of parenthood.

My husband went to the Stay-at-Home Dads convention in Omaha, NE and he came home with this book. My first thought you just went on "vacation" and I stayed home with the kids and NOW you want me to read a book. I NOW realize this book should be mandatory for any "couple" with kids. I wrote down numerous quotes from this book, but probably my favorite, which really tells why you need to read the book is: "Parents are not two people filling two roles, but two people filling one role."