Bittersweet Always (Gray Springs University) Paperback – May 3, 2018

“You know my soul, and I know yours. There’s no coming back from that."BITTERSWEET ALWAYS (Gray Springs University , book 2) was an angsty, beautifully penned NA Romance that hooked me from page one! This was my first book by Ella Fields and I knew after reading the goosebump-inducing blurb that this book would be MIND-BLOWING!And how right I was on that front!I have so many intense, overwhelming feelings about this story it's nearly impossible to put into words! Gah...talk about a tummy clenching rollercoaster ride filled with love, passion, pathos, bittersweet bliss and gutwrenching turmoil. I fell SO HARD for feisty college freshman Pippa James and Gray Springs hunky all-star wide receiver Toby Hawthorne. The chemistry and soul deep connection between these two lovebirds electrified my heart but beneath Toby's roguishly sexy, charismatic persona lurked secret dark demons that once released would decimate both their worlds!!!This book totally consumed me, held my heart in a vice grip, and was IMPOSSIBLE to put down! The depth of raw, unflinching emotions explored throughout was AWE-INSPIRING, and in particular, Ms. Fields sensitive and unflinchingly realistic depiction of a young man's harrowing descent into mental illness was absolutely riveting. However, if I am being completely honest, as much as I adored the first half where we witnessed Toby and Pippa falling madly in love and fiercely supporting each other through thick and thin, the romance kind of fizzled for me in the second half because it became secondary to all the angst and drama.So while Toby's devastating downward spiral and painstaking journey from the depths of despair to hope and healing was INCREDIBLY moving, as was the deeply nuanced story revolving around Pippa's fractured family that had also been torn apart by mental illness, at times the central romance felt like a CASUALTY OF WAR! In particular, the long drawn out separation between the couple (they were basically estranged for the entire second half of the book ) was a letdown for me and I felt the plug was prematurely pulled on this beautifully developing romance before it truly had a chance to take flight!Part of my disappointment was that this couple just stopped fighting for each other and I think that Pippa held onto her righteous anger a little too long. I know that Toby hurt her deeply, and I am NOT saying she should have taken him back right away after completely shattering her heart, but I really wished they had worked through more of their issues together as a UNITED front, as opposed to spending so much time moping around, wallowing in their misery and pining for each other from afar.But on a positive note, I was OVERJOYED when they finally reunited and found the final chapters to be so profoundly touching, achingly bittersweet and unbelievably heartfelt it brought tears to my eyes!!!!. I just wish it hadn't taken this beleaguered duo quite so long to find their way back together. But it was indeed the PERFECT HEA ending!BOTTOM LINE:BITTERSWEET ALWAYS broke me and healed me in the best possible way! And even though I had some issues with the execution of the plotline, I do want to stress that it is in NO WAY a negative reflection on the author's writing or the overall story, both of which I found addictive and utterly captivating!! And ultimately the journey Pippa and Toby embarked on together was SO WORTH IT in the end!And now that I've been introduced to this amazing cast of characters, I can't wait to dive into SUDDENLY FORBIDDEN (Quinn and Daisy's story) and eeep after that shocking bombshell at the end of BITTERSWEET ALWAYS, I am eagerly anticipating Callum's tale in the soon to be released PRETTY VENOM!

"Because life will happen. Happen with it, but ... don't let it change who you are."Bittersweet Always is bitter and sweet and everything in between. It's bittersweet perfection."How well do you really know someone? You don't."To be honest, I didn't cry while reading this book. But sitting here, trying to gather my thoughts and feelings about it, tears are welling up and goosebumps are spreading, only from thinking about this soul-touching deep story from Pippa and Toby."You're worth it all. And hopefully one day, you'll see that. See yourself the way I do."I knew - because we already met Pippa and Toby in Suddenly Forbidden - that their book will touch a very sensitive and tough topic. What I didn't expect was that Ella made this feel so damn real. Ella, the way you wrote Toby is beyond exceptional! Being in his mind, I felt his struggle deep in my bones as if it was my own storm and war I was fighting to silence the voices."...Love him but never forget to love yourself more."Pippa is one of the strongest heroines I've ever met. It was an honor to be at her side while she discovered how strong she really is. Sadly because being strong was the only choice she had. But it's exactly situations like this that forms us into something greater. It takes an insanely strong character to never give up on the person you love and to always believe in him."I will not fall victim to the undertow, for I am unsinkable."Pippa and Toby's lovestory is about two young people falling in love. But they not only learn to love and accept each other with everything there is but they also learn to accept and love themselves for what they are. They learn how to be strong for themselves and the other, at an age where you actually shouldn't worry about such things, where you should live carefree, enjoying life."I was under her skin the same way she lived in mine. I beat in her heart the same way she controlled the tempo of mine."But fate had other plans for Toby and Pippa. And even though it was tough to read and a more than rocky road they had to pass, they (well actually Ella) created an epic lovestory. Reading this book made my heart ache constantly, I sighed a lot, sometimes I had to pause to let things think in. Every emotion found its way under my skin and stayed there, even after the last page."You are what I want. And what I need is for you to love me loudly again. What I need is all of you."Intense, touching, rough, sensual, real. That's what Bittersweet Always is to me. Ella created a lovestory around the sensitive topic of mental health issues that touches your heart and the core of your soul deeply. I wish I could pour me feelings for this book into this review as Ella poured her heart into this book."Loving him would always be bittersweet, but I knew then that the sweet would always outweigh the bitter."I highly recommend reading this book, experience first hand what I tried to describe here in this review. I'm pretty sure, reading this book won't disappoint you. Ella has a way with words like Ed Sheeran has with his music: They create magic."We stared, and we breathed each other's breaths. And when the flames climbed, melting me into a mush of sensation, he was right there, burning with me."

A wonderful story that was gripping and so very emotional, many times it was heartbreaking, sometimes extremely frustrating but so wonderfully written and the characters were all I expected them to be. This is Pippa and Toby's story. Ella certainly has a way with words that draws all the emotions from you with her superb writing that takes us the reader on a journey with them both and what they endure along the way.The book touches on a subject that is very common but no one really likes to talk about or try to deal with it because often they don't know how. I thought Ella dealt with the subject matter really really well and that comes across in this story. Pippa and Toby were two of the most interesting characters to read about, Toby stole a piece of my heart almost instantly. I so felt his pain and the struggles he faced everyday and I loved that Pippa was there for him, even though at times she was way out of her depth, she tried so hard.This is much more of an emotional story than the first book Suddenly Forbidden. This book is all about feelings, emotions and the struggles those problems bring and how these two wonderful characters learn to deal with them. They can be all read as standalone's but all the characters are friends so each book interconnect, and anyway they are so good you need to start at the beginning and work your way through them.An incredible book with addictive characters that are so easy to connect with they feel like they are your friends, you are in that story with them, you live and breathe them, that's how good this book is. A definite MUST read !!!

This book developed into something more than just college romance. It showed how hard life is for some people and what they have to deal with daily. Toby struggled and it hurt reading his struggle, Pippa too was having to make decisions regarding her relationship with Toby and her own feelings. This author has written a book that makes you think of others .

Wow! Is all I can say, a really powerful read with a big insight into living with mental health issues. Literally reading this was so difficult as going through it with my own daughter, and just really help me get an understanding of it from her perspective as she finds it really difficult to voice. Just loved this book thank you so much for writing it, has really helped a mum who is completely out of her depth, so thanks again. A definite must read in any case.

I was so excited for Toby's book when it was announced, I knew he had a story and a half to tell and did he ever! Ella Fields sure took on a difficult subject with mental illness and she did it with sensitivity and respect without trying to lighten or downplay Toby's issues or miraculously "healing" him.Pippa's a fabulous heroine and just what Toby needed. I've read so many NA books where the characters irritate the hell out of me with the juvenile drama, not so in Bittersweet Always. Not even the seperation bothered me, it was essential and pivotal to the story for Toby to be able to heal and grow.Although Bittersweet Always is a lot heavier than Suddenly Forbidden I really liked it, way more than I thought I would when I first started it.4.5 stars

This talented author has the unique ability of drawing the reader into the story from the very beginning and on an emotional rollercoaster ride throughout. This is a beautifully written flawless story which had me totally captivated throughout this additive page turner and I highly recommend for all readers.