Conversations With A Pedophile: In the Interest of Our Children

If there is one thing to takeaway from this book it is to listen and have open communication with your children. The pedophiles best weapon is secrecy, and if they know your kid can talk to you about anything, then they are less likely to try and abuse your child.

Must read for any Parent out there! Informative and detailed, terribly sad but enlightening. I'm glad to have read it and will recommend it to others.

As a survivor of sexual abuse, I felt like I needed to read this book in hopes to find a way to protect my future children and my nieces and nephews... I agree with some of what is in this book. I agree that we need to find better therapy options for those who are likely to become sex offenders and for those who suffer from The abuse.i also agreed with the fact that We need to have an open communication with our children so they are not afraid to let us in on their secrets and lives. So, they do not put their trust into a master manipulator. We as concerned adults need to put our trust in them so they feel that they can do the same. I do wish there were better options for those who feel like they may commit a crime like this, to seek and receive help before they commit the crime. If we can prevent sexual molestation we should figure out an appropriate way to do so.The pedophile 'Allen' in this book does his best to make a case for 'repeat' offenders and using 'Megan's law' and the 'triple strike' as an example. He states that because these offenders are stigmatized in society, along with suffering from rape and brutalized in prison, They are more likely to come out and reoffend, then murder on top of it to cover up their crime, therefore he thinks 'Megan's law, along with the tripe strike.' Are a little too much punishment. Because if these men did not fear these laws they probably would reoffend but less likely to murder the child on top of it for fear of punishment and imprisonment. Because, these men are also victims to one extant or another; by their parents , society, failed therapy, other prisoners, pretty much the rest of the world failed them....This REALLY bothered me. It was like a slap in the face. To me, he is pretty much stating that we might as well let these men reoffend without harsh threat of ' forever' punishment because at least they are less likely to murder their victim. In the end the world didn't offer these men the option of 'not' offending anyway. It's like damn Allen! Quit making excuses! You always had the option to seek help! I watched a documentary on youtube recently about a man who did just that! He knew he had the potential to commit this crime. He also knew it was hard and knew the stigma that came with it but he has enough EMPATHY for the children within himself to seek therapy before he committed such a crime. ( he e I wish more pedophiles would be selfless enough to do so.In the end this book and the ending is disheartening.

There were quite a lot of obvious typos which made me question the care with which things were researched and written. There were quite a lot of great points about the pedophilic process and how we can take preventative measures. However, I sometimes felt like the core elements were too repetitive and padded.

As an LEO in this field this tome does little to advance the understanding of the predator but does go a long way in deceiving the author into a area of which she has no expertise , a lot of unresolved childhood rape issues and a great deal of gullibility. The book , however, is an excellent instructional manual for hebephilia predators. Despite the assertion of a desire to help the wronged, the revealing statement comes when the victimizer encounters a boy in hospital (this, while in a penal institution and taken to hospital for medical treatment) and says, in so many words, he's the reason I am imprisoned. This can be read two ways, but a very careful reading of the book and the victimizer's letters exposes the blame he lays on his victims and methodology to achieve those aims. . The author is lost and fails to see (in my opinion) that this boy molester has totally advanced his sexual cupidity in the author's effort to advance an understanding of the victimizer's psyche. . Much better texts addressing these issues are Predators and Child Molesters and Eyes of a Pedophile for the general reader, both available from Amazon. The more serious psychiatric studies are better left to the professions to recommend. Personally, my advice to parents, and mothers in particular, answer your children's questions about sex within their ability to understand, and begin at an early age to overshadow the American hypocritical puritanism and teach your children about anyone, dad, uncle, scoutmaster, who does things to their body that makes them feel odd, uncomfortable or notunderstandable. Establish the relationship with your child so that they can always come to you with whatever issues they have, and, especially warn them, that anyone who says keep this a secret or I will harm your parents, the best chance that the parent won't be harmed is that the child tells the parent immediately. And, parents, don't trust anyone in authority with your child, you should be involved in that child's activities yourself. When I did scouts I always insisted that two or three parents were always in attendance and active members. And, religion, sorry, the worst people to entrust your child's safety to without your ever presence. One last thing, to those parents of gay teens, if I may,; Accept, love, don't give into that crap about you did wrong, nor, reject them. Forget the religious prejudice and superstition . Your responsibility is to give them the guidance so that they are not exploited sexually or acquire an STD/Aids. My opinion after thirty years in the field and now a consultant on international child trafficking.

This is a wonderful book. It’s hard to put into words just how important it is for stories like this to be shared in order to help others who may be in his same position, or on the same track. This books allows for a better understanding of an ostracized group of people - a group of people that needs psychological help and tools for PREVENTING harmful acts against children.In order to prevent people from hurting our children, we need to have a better understanding of them, and they need to have a better understanding of themselves.

This book is unlike anything I've ever read. It should be mandatory reading for parents, teachers, church leaders and mental health professionals.The book is a unique look at the thoughts and processes of a pedophile, Alan (currently spending life in prison), who has undergone many years of therapy. In the book, he describes quite eloquently the various methods and tactics utilized by pedophiles when choosing, grooming and abusing children. Although it is quite difficult to read at times, the value of this information can not be understated, especially for those of us working with children or who are raising children of our own.It is easy for most of us to shun this kind of information, to allow our intense emotional responses the material to shut us down. It is much easier to avoid thinking about subject matter such as this. But, as is mentioned throughout this book numerous times, it is exactly that type of emotional response and behaviour that allows child abusers to go undetected. If we don't know what we're looking for because we don't want to think or hear about child sexual abuse, it is easy for abusers to fly under the radar for many years, sometimes even for entire lifetimes.The main author, Amy, who worked with Alan in the prison system, also gives an important account from the perspective of someone who experienced childhood sexual abuse. Given her training as a music therapist, she is also able to relay the mindset of a child while they are being abused and their mindset many years down the line. What she has to say is poignant and often practical. She really makes you think.I found this book fascinating and, as someone currently undergoing an education to work in mental health, an extremely useful tool. The following points were particularly helpful for me:1. That some pedophiles seek help from mental health providers but are never asked about sexuality, and the effect that has on a patient's ability to truly let the healthcare provider know what is the real reason for them seeking help. Asking patients about sexuality can be very important in helping us to provide support for pedophiles BEFORE they begin abusing children2. That the author, as a therapist, receives accolades for her work with almost any other type of patient, but is met with silence when she informs anyone of her work with sexual offenders (because society is so horrified by the idea of pedophilia that even the mere thought of it drives people to shut down immediately)3. That although an estimated 25%+ of kids are sexually abused, there is a shame and silence that victims/survivors experience that do not allow them to share this with anyone, even their loved ones, because they often think they are the only ones who have gone through itCan't recommend this book enough.

As a member of the law enforcement community and coach to my children's sports teams this book didn't reveal anything I didn't already know however I am convinced that this should be required reading for all leaders of any sports federation, every single human resources manager, anyone in charge of hiring, every single teacher, coach, social worker, police officer, daycare worker, basically EVERYONE!The concluding words left me shaking and sent shivers up and down my spine. And I am a seasoned law enforcement veteran who is not easily shocked nor phased.Do yourselves a favor and buy this book. Study it. Engage in conversations with your children. You won't look at the world or even your neighborhood the same ever again.