Your Three-Year-Old: Friend or Enemy Kindle Edition

Alternatively helpful and useless, Your Three-Year-Old: Friend or Enemy, comforted me even while it made me scratch my head in bewilderment.The first chapter, “Characteristics of the Age,” contained the best information. In it, the authors explained about the stages of equilibrium and disequilibrium that a child goes through. I found this comforting, as my 3 ½ - year -old is definitely in a stage of disequilibrium. “Your child is not your enemy. It is not you against him” (12), the authors, in emphasizing italics, remind their readers. So the next time your child throws cereal all over your freshly vacuumed floor, and then steps in it to grind it a little further into the carpet (and your soul), repeat this to yourself: “you are not my enemy.” It might help.There were several things that were downright unhelpful or just so common sense you cringe to think that some parents are actually asking such questions (no, mom, your child is not a “mental crackup” because she wants to use her left hand for things). The chapter on the three-year-old birthday party didn’t seem to offer much. Let me tell you, there’s only one schedule for a child’s birthday party: chaos, pure uninhibited sugar high chaos from start to finish.Their advice for hard to handle children often consisted of getting a babysitter or sending your child to day care so you don’t have to deal with them. “Day care when necessary can reduce the time you will need to spend together” (12). True, but not very helpful for the modern stay-at-home mom on a budget. If that doesn’t work for you, there’s always the other type of babysitter: “the television can be your friend. Wisely used, it can keep a child happy, well behaved and out of difficulty for long periods” (30). Here’s your golden ticket to guilt-free screen time for your children!The letters from disgruntled parents at the end and the authors masterful, yet slightly insulting, advice was a real goldmine. One mother gave her child a toy clown and then let him watch a violent show on TV with clowns in it. Much to her surprise, he suddenly became afraid of his clown. She asked if maybe she should “burn the clown before his eyes” or whether they should take the toy clown on vacation or leave it behind. The authors opened up their response with the understatement of the year, “You seem to have made several mistakes.”

If you have or are planning to have kids (or know anyone with kids) buy this series. Each book is concise and full of useful information about how kids develop over the course of each year in their lives. It's not a "how to fix" or "here's what's wrong" book. It's an honest, research-based explanation of why 3 1/2 year olds are sometimes little jerks--with some suggestions for how to cope.I appreciate the supportive, respectful and honest approach these authors take towards children and adults. A friend introduced me to the series by explaining that she paid her nanny to read them. What a great idea! Our household relies on these books to remind us that there's nothing wrong with our kid.Note: these books were published when the assumption was that each kid had a female and male parent and the female parent was a primary caretaker. If that's not true in your house, plan to mentally adjust gender pronouns or otherwise make it fit your world. Don't throw away the information because your family structure is different.

If you’re looking for a book that reminds you it’s okay to put your child in daycare, with a sitter, or in front of a screen to buy your sanity through testy three year old years, this is the book for you. If you’re the parent more concerned with understanding the psychology behind the three year old mind and how you can press in during the few formative years you have them with you before school environments infiltrate their minds, this is not the book for you. 1/4 of the way through and I’m done. I’m more focused on how I can pour into my kids when they can’t figure out why the feel the way they do than to hear moms are generally the enemy so give yourself space. That’s a cop out.

If you want to know why your child acts the way they do, this is the book for you. Some of a child's most annoying behaviors are actually signs of both intelligence and cognitive development. Once you are able to view a child's actions as part of a growth pattern it is so much easier to deal with the behavior rather than the naughty child.All of these books made all the difference in how I navigated the most frustrating times in my children's young lives.

This series is great, but remember they were written a long time ago so you have to ignore the comments that are outdated.....like about boys who play with dolls might grow up to be gay, or the authors okayness with spanking, etc. The psychological insights about children's behavior is whats helpful.

Written like it was written almost 50 years ago because it was. I was tired of reading about the special bond with a mother and how that is all the young child wanted very quickly.Once they said you should get a good baby sitter, out the child in day care or use a screen to entertain them I was done.

We were wondering where our sweet little 3 year old girl had gone. Suddenly, we had a screaming, questionning, frustrated, argumentative 3 1/2 year old! I read this book and was relieved to find that we are not the only parents to wonder this. This book isn't a "self-help", more of a "questions answered". Read it if you want to confirm suspicions.

helped me understand my son far more at this age of 3.5, that there are great differences between the age of 3 and 3.5. our kids are constantly changing and evolving and this book will help calm you in knowing that those challenges you face with kids at the age of 3 and 4 are completely normal.

Great details.