How to Love Hardcover – October 1, 2013

How to Love was frustrating to read. It’s a book about second chance love, which I thought sounded amazing. And it might have been, had Sawyer LeGrande not been an epic waste of time. This book should have been called How to Love A Terrible Person and Ruin Your Life As A Result.I hate to be harsh because the book had promise and wasn’t badly written. I liked the constant jumping from Before to After as we got to understand Reena and Sawyer and how things ended up that way. I kept reading, captivated, wanting to find out what happened between them. How to Love is one of those books that I thoroughly enjoyed reading, but once I figured out the full story, it was a waste of time.The story began with Reena. She was raising her daughter on her own and out of high school. She ran into Sawyer at a gas station and realized that he was back in town for the first time since he left her. The reader had no idea what happened other than Sawyer knocked her up at some point and then left and now he’s back years later. The book switched from After (the baby) to Before frequently throughout the story, so we eventually got the entire picture. Reena’s family wasn’t very happy with the fact that she got pregnant at 16 and her relationship with Sawyer’s parents was nonexistent. She hadn’t spoken to Sawyer since he left, shortly after getting her pregnant. In the Before sections, we found out that she had always had a crush on him since she was a little kid.I am not judgmental and I love some flawed characters. I’m always rooting for the worst kinds of villains in fiction. Not just your typically bad boy, but the ones that are actually problematic, selfish, and sometimes evil. That is NOT why I dislike Sawyer, really. I can grow to love a flawed bad boy character. I promise. But Sawyer had to the be the worst character to have as the love interest and he was so terrible to Reena. Over and over and over again! And she just kept letting it happen! I wanted to slap her the entire time!Reena virtually never spoke up for herself. She was in a relationship with a nice, but generally uninteresting guy. She had a shaky relationship with her parents after having her child. The highlight in her life was Hannah, her daughter, but that was basically it. She took some classes at a college, but it was obvious she had gotten into a much better college and had some set goals before finding out she was pregnant. She dreamed of being a travel writer, but was instead a waitress and part time student. While I understood that things have to change when you have a kid, I was kind of irritated that she let her pregnancy stop her from doing what she wanted. No, she couldn’t go off to a 4 year college and ignore her baby, but she could have at least travelled and wrote a bit and not let her circumstances stop her from finding some sort of compromise and joy in her life. She could have at least tried to mend things with her parents by SPEAKING UP every once in awhile. You’re a mom, Reena, you’re an adult. Get the F up and do something with your life and stop letting everyone around you blame you alone for your circumstances. Rise above them and also stop treating them like your life is now ruined.And then came Sawyer. He had so many problems and he was the kind of guy who made Reena turn into mush and stop being responsible. It was clear that he wanted back into her life and he even attempted to form a relationship with Hannah. It complicated things, especially because she cared about him. But he was terrible. In the Before, he was a drug addict. He took her to parties and scored drugs and just LEFT HER in rooms with strangers KNOWING she was uncomfortable. He flirted with other girls ALL OF THE TIME in front of her. He lied to her in order to not hurt her feelings. He wasn’t the kind of bad boy who was better around the girl he loved. He wasn’t the kind of guy who made her into a better, more well rounded person. He didn’t make her take risks that eventually opened her up in a positive way, like so many bad boys in romantic fiction. There were literally NO redeeming qualities about him. And she just let all of this happen. In the After, he was clean, he was back, and he was willing to be around for her, but there was still this general perception that he really had no responsibilities. Nothing about his past was addressed other than the fact that he wasn’t doing drugs or drinking anymore. Everyone blamed Reena for getting pregnant and even looking Sawyer’s way in the first place and it was generally perceived that it was her fault for getting involved with him. When he came back, that perception was still there as her family warned her not to mess up this time. Which was BS. Where was his slice of blame and responsibility?Also, when Sawyer left, there was no reason for it. Honestly, he just left and I think it was to create a plot device. Later, it was the general idea that he was afraid she would go off to college and leave him. She was good, he was bad. He worried about her leaving him, she worried about him leaving her. So he left first. And then she was pregnant. And they rarely talked about anything important, or those fears could have been alleviated. Why would anyone want to be with someone who made them feel like less of a person? She never spoke up about her feelings or her wants, and he never talked about his issues. They didn’t belong together at all.My feelings about the book are directly related to Sawyer. The fact that he’s supposed to be the main squeeze just made me lose all respect for Reena and not enjoy the way things panned out as a result. A better story would have been her finally finding someone who treated her right that she also could fall for and for her family to support her. It seems as though other readers liked Sawyer and rated the book highly because they didn’t have the same problems that I did. My advice is to decide for yourself. How to Love is a quick read and it’s certainly worth reading. It was written pretty well and dealt with a lot of issues. If you don’t hate Sawyer, I’m sure it would be quite enjoyable.

Why I chose this book:I had read several of my book friend's reviews of this book, and they loved it. I also attended Julie Murphy's release of Side Effects May Vary. While there, she gave away a copy of this book, claiming that it was one of her favorite reads of this year. After reading the synopsis, this seemed like the perfect heartfelt romance that I needed.Three Things You Need to Know:1. This isn't a typical teen pregnancy book.Do not be deceived. This is not your normal teen fluff novel. This book is filled with humanly flawed characters that make your heart ache. I loved Reena and Sawyer's story so much, because it reminded me a lot of my own. Both characters reveal their stories through a series of flashbacks, unraveling their brokenness down to the core. As the story progresses, you see how they both began to rebuild from their past to become different people, for better and for worse.2. Quiet feminism in a loud way.One of the things I loved was that Cotugno shows how society handles women and teenage pregnancy. When Reena becomes pregnant, Sawyer jumps ship leaving her to pick up the pieces of her shattered life. Cotugno holds no prisoners when illustrating the shaming that women must endure, while men skip out quite easily. Reena is treated like a failure, a messed up and forgotten project, while Sawyer returns as the prodigal son.3. Forgiveness and love.There are some tough themes of forgiveness throughout the book. Reena learns that her past doesn't dictate her future, and forgiveness is the only way she can let go of the bitterness she holds inside. I also loved the father/daughter moments that Cotugno throws in that made me weep late into the night. This book does not mess around when it comes to feels.Final Thoughts:I loved this book. I wanted more of Reena and Sawyer's story. I loved them and hated them all because I saw myself in their actions. This was a book that tugged at so many of my heartstrings and left me up at night saying, "Okay, just one more page."Check out more of my reviews at ofspectaclesandbooks.com

I buddy read this one with Brittany from This is the Story of My Reading Life. We'd originally planned to read it in March - but we couldn't fit it in - so we bumped it onto our April TBR's because we really wanted to read it. Glad we managed to fit it in in April because I really enjoyed it.The main thing I loved was that this wasn't a perfect, straight-forward love story and that both characters had major flaws. Reena and Sawyer were together; Sawyer had major problems; Reena got sick of it; Sawyer left; Reena found out she was pregnant; Had her baby and then 3 years later... Sawyer returns.The story was told in two different timelines: Before & After. Before: The story of how Reena & Sawyer's relationship started. After: 3 years after they got together and all the events after Sawyer's return.Reen is a socially-awkward character who prefers her own company. She has a major weakness when it comes to Sawyer. She comes from a Catholic family and they looked down on her when she became pregnant. She's kind of a s***ty friend, but she has dealt with a lot of s*** so sometimes I could excuse her. But I did have a love/hate relationship with Reena.I had a like/hate relationship with Sawyer. I hated before Sawyer. He was such a dick and I wanted to punch him in the face so many times. I did feel bad because he was going through his own s***, but I hate that he dragged Reena with him. He treated Reena like s*** before. After, he wasn't much better to start with. He waltzed back in like nothing had changed and was acting like the same jackass from before. But Sawyer grew a lot when he came back and by the end, I did like him.Shelby is Reena's BFF. She tells it like it is and she's always trying to talk sense into Reena. She's hilarious and had me laughing out loud quite a lot. She's a great friend to Reena even though Reena doesn't always return the favour.When it comes to the romance, the blurb tells it like it is: It's a mess. Reena and Sawyer went through a ton of s*** before which would make you think they'd never in a million years try it again. But those two had a connection right from the word go. Reena had been hiding her feeling for Sawyer and Sawyer never knew about her feelings, but he liked her. Before Reena and Sawyer were a train-wreck. After Reena and Sawyer had a chance. I loved getting to see the Before relationship and the After relationship and understand why Reena had her hang-ups. It was real, and I think that's why I ended up rooting for the two of them.Nothing in this story was perfect, and that's why I loved it so much. Neither Reena nor Sawyer are perfect. They both have major flaws and have made a lot of mistakes in the past and in the present. They're still learning and growing. Reena and Sawyer's families weren't perfect either. I hated Reena's dad for the way he was freezing out her and being such a dick, but I also understood his side. Sawyer's parents seemed determined to put on this perfect front and try to make it look like they hadn't been treating Reena like s***.By the end I was rooting for Reena and Sawyer and I finished the book with a massive grin on my face. The ending gave me hope that they'll be able to be a proper family and that everything will work out.Overall, I really loved How to Love. It was messy, heartbreaking, the characters were imperfect, but it just felt real and that's why I loved it.

You know when you're just really craving an easy, romantic, contemporary? This is the perfect book for that. Told in alternating chapters of Before and After, this is Reena's story, of love, heartbreak and an unexpected pregnancy. The plot itself id very character orientated, something that I love, giving not only Reena, whose POV dominates the book, and Sawyer, the love interest, but also the supporting characters like Shelby and Soledad. That's not to say that it's a perfect book, but it is a nice summery contemporary that may just make you cry a little.Why not find me at www.cartonmanettedarnay.wordpress.com for more book-related content!

It was nice story, but it did get a little irritating with the past and present chapters, because you had to keep remembering what had occurred. Also ReenA constantly coming off as sort of aggressive, got a bit boring and I think I would have preferred her to not end up with Sawyer and to realise that her and Hannah could do this on there own.

I had high hopes for this book after flicking through the first few pages online, however it proved to be fairly flat as a story.The storyline was told from a past/present perspective which was interesting. This was a bit tedious at times, especially when you already knew what was about to happen from the previous chapters.I didn't really get into the story in the way I have with other books, partly because some of the actions of the characters seemed out of context with their situation. One of my main annoyances about the book is that I felt that the main character, Reena, never seemed to develop as the book progressed. I know she is portrayed as a teenager, however she came across as very naive despite her life experiences. The ending disappointed me a bit, I can't say the book reached the conclusion I personally would have liked it to, however it was a "happy" ending.My feelings towards this book are fairly neutral, I didn't love or hate it. I will admit I probably wouldn't read it again, however for some summer reading it's absolutely fine. It was a really easy book to read through, and only took me a few hours to read in its entirety.

I'm not going to lie I hated Sawyer at times. I thought he was a real s**t bag with her at times but it was also clear that these two were forever. It was a great book that looks at real life, our hopes and regrets and about dealing with life when it doesn't go the way you planned for it to. Great read.